Whats Wrong WIth Me?

   I have a condition. I'm Human. That is my crime. Everyday I make the mistake of caring, and having feelings. I get frustrated and angry. I get hurt and lash out. I laugh and I cry. I love and I lose. I am often asked "what's wrong with you?" What do you mean? There is nothing wrong with me. It's you that has the problem. It should be normal to be overly dramatic and emotional. Especially when you are dealing with the kind of shit I deal with. I shouldn't have to suppress how I feel. Right?

   But I do. Every day. I have to hold it all in and smile. I have to smile for my kids. I smile for my work, and smile for all the other people who are clueless as to what I am going through. When you ask someone how they are, do you really expect them to say anything other than "Fine" or "Good"?  What if they just completely unloaded how they were really feeling. You asked for it. Right? But we don't unload on others just because they ask. We usually just hold it in and mutter that we are fine. Some of us have to work harder at this than others. Myself included. It seems to me that this makes for a volatile world. Where any minute, an undiagnosed person, with a human condition could walk into a Luby's and go postal.

   So here I am. Starting a blog in the hopes that I can vent some of these emotions and write about what I am going through. So that I don't go POSTAL. I don't really want to hurt anyone. I just want my own pain to go away or to be understood. Because I have a condition. I'm Human.